Master the Techniques on Cunnilingus (Going Down on a Woman)

Daily at The Pleasure Place, the stories unfold again and again where women come in and whisper their frustrations of having to fake their orgasms. Confessions are never in the presence of their partners (one or two may brave in admitting it while the subject is up hoping it to be a means of communication). This is truly disconcerting because complaints from women are from all walks of life, married or with multiple partners, those who have an occasional one night stand or women whose main income is to sell their bodies for sex. They trek in daily hoping to catch me so I can help her pick out a toy to fill her sexual needs and to deal with her frustrations.

 Yesterday afternoon, I received a phone call from a 45 year-old woman who confided that she has never experienced an orgasm, much less know where her G-spot is. She has decided to seek the help of her gynecologist who recommended she visits the Pleasure Place to purchase a toy to aid her in the quest of experiencing orgasm. We made a date for another visit to the shop where I can give her a more thorough understanding on how to play with the toy or if  there is a need to purchase one with a stronger vibration.. She may also need to purchase an additional dildo if the the clit stimulator already purchased is not enough to satisfy her.

I encourage many to bring their partners so I can talk to them both. Some have partners who are willing to listen, accept their ignorance and make efforts. Others simply refuse to participate. The good news is most are willing to learn so that they may experience a newfound and lifelong experience of the joys of sex.

Thank God for Dr. Sadie Allison’s book on "Tickle His Pickle" on penis pleasing involving the use of toys. Once I demonstrate to the ladies on how to please their partners with a toy, this immediately lessens the threat most men feel. The toy now becomes not only "her toy", but "our toy". I have been able to convince most men who would listen that if they truly love their partner and wants to please them, a toy is just an added feature and not a replacement. That the toy is an accessory and not a warm up tool. He is respomsible for the warm up which means spending time on "foreplay". Which brings me to the subject of cunnilingus, one of many facets of foreplay. Once the technique is executed perfectly through practice, understanding and patience and in harmony with their partner’s rhythm, you will find satisfaction in watching your partner come, which in turn brings satisfaction to yourself.

The word cunnilingus comes from the latin cunnus meaning "vulva" and lingere meaning "to lick". But licking is only one of the many delight involved in cunnilingus. Your moist lips and mouth are capable of creating a uniquely subtle range of sensations. Sucking your partner’s clitoris, nuzzling her labia, and penetrating her vagina with your tongue or fingers can all enhance the experience of oral sex. As with any sexual activity, the same strokes won’t work for all, and the same women might prefer different types of stimulation depending on how aroused she is. Start by finding out what kind of clitoral stimulation your partner prefers: she might like you to lick or suck directly on the tip of her clitoris, to approach it from the underside, or to concentrate on the less-sensitive hooded side. She might favor a slow, gentle tonguing, or she might crave a ferocious licking. She might prefer feeling the tip of your tongue, the flat of your tongue, a circular motion, a lapping motion, or slight scraping of teeth. Here are some of what customers share with me:

"Tongues are usually soft enough and slick enough to feel good directly on my clit".

"I found that i simply needed the courage to grind into him, to get a more forceful touch from his tongue, in order to come completely. I overcome my shyness and really got off."

"The softness and delicacy of a tongue on my clitoris is heavenly. I love an indirect approach with lots of teasing–coming close, backing off, returning, etc."

 "If I am being eaten-out, it’s a total turn-on to have him pull me against him by wrapping his arms around my thighs and holding me tight as he licks me hard and fast."

Many women enjoy having the whole vulva licked, from pubic bone to perineum. Pay attention to the sensitive area around the urethra. You can insert your tongue in your partner’s vagina, though obviously the average tongue will only go so deep. Most women would much rather have their external genetalia tongued. Generally, it’s easier to use a finger or a dildo for penetration during oral sex.

"I enjoy the combined effect of licking my partner’s clit and penetrating her with a dildo. It arouses me to see her so turned on."

Bear in mind that as your partner approaches orgasm, she will probably appreciate a steady stimulation up to and through her orgasm. Many women need consistent, reliable stimulation to put them "over the top" and if you test-drive a brand new tongue stroke right before she’s about to come, it may not go over too well.

"I like cunnilingus because it calls me to be more subtle and adventurous in determinng where the locations of pleasure could be. The searching and ingesting quality is very exciting especially if she comes."

You may have read or heard mysterious warnings that you can actually kill a women during cunnilingus by blowing too frorcefully into her vagina. In fact, there is a medical literature describing cases in which oral sex has resulted in potentially fatal air embolisms. However, in every one of these unusal cases, there had been some damage to the uterine wall that allowed air to pass from the uterus into the bloodstream, for instance, the woman’s uterine lining was disrupted by an I.U.D. or in the majority of cases, she was pregnant. During pregnancy, the placenta produces enzymes that eat away part of the uterine wall, creating a pool of blood between the placenta and the uterine wall. Therefore, an embolism could result if a forceful blast of air makes its way through the cervix, beneath the edge of the placenta, and into the bloodstream. The embolisms, on occasion, proven fatal. However, these are exceedingly rare events. If you are going down on a pregnant partner, please rest assured that, as one doctor states "it would take a lot of force and a lot of air". Plain oral sex would not be a problem.

Experiment with positions to see which are most comfortable and pleasurable for the two of you. You may enjoy simply by lying between your partner’s legs, facing her vagina while she lies on her back. This position allows you to reach her upper body with your hands. You can try kneeling on the floor between her legs while she lies back on the bed or the sofa or the kitchen table or stands over you. Or you can lie on your back while your partner straddles your face. She will be free to move her pelvis and control the rhythm of the movement. This straddling position is popular both with those women whose arousal is enhanced by watchng their partner perform oral sex and those cunnilinguists who enjoy the sensation of being surrounded by their partner’s vulva.

"I love having my partner sit over my face, watching her lose control."

In any event, there are more possible positions for cunnilingus than we could ever name. You are limited only by your imagination.

There are truly no limit to the variations you can come up with when you are at eye-level with your partner’s vulva. Your hands are free to weild a dildo on your partner or vibrator on yourself. You can slip a finger in her vagina or anus, or both. Women who find their orgasms are more intense when the vagina is full may particularly enjoy having a dildo inserted during oral sex.

"My fantasy involves having my partner give me oral sex while his penis is inside me. but that seems impossible. My partner surprised me once by inserting a vibrator into my vagina and his fingers in my anus while licking my clitoris. This gave me one of the most memorable orgasms I’ve had, and I think this is as close to my fantasy as I will be able to get."

Try placing a vibrator across her labia while you suck on her clitoris. Or hold a battery vibrator against the underside of your tongue while you are licking, thus transforming your mouth into a sex toy. If that last idea makes your teeth hurt to even think about it, bear in mind that sound creates vibration, so you can create a similar, slightly less dramatic effect by humming and purring while you lick. 

Before I leave this topic, I would like to think that every woman and every lover of women should experience the pleasure of cunnilingus. That women’s genitals are more hidden than men’s has exaggerated a sense of mystery, and in some cases, a certain fear and disgust toward what’s down there " between a woman’s legs. When you go down on a woman, you are bringing all your senses to bear on an appreciation and admiration of her genitals. When you invite someone to go down on you, you are affirming your entire body is worthy of tender attention.

"I am a huge fan of cunnillungus. Sometimes it takes a while for me to really let go and get into it, but wow! It feels so cool that someone is worshipping every part of me!"

After hearing comments from women of all ages, sexual preference, old and young alike, this reaffirms that every woman has her very own set of desires and should set out to enjoy every fantasy.

Come in to The Pleasure Place if you would like to have a heart-to-heart talk with me. I can assist in the selection from a wide range of toys to fulfill any of your desires. 

On my next topic, let’s not leave the boys out. You will learn techniques on Fellatio, derived from the Latin verb fellare, "TO SUCK."